Just saw Chris Brown in Cali Adventure...Linda had to tell me who he was.

Boo: Is it called the rapture when you come out of an egg?

Me: No.  That's called hatching.

Boo: Oh yeah.

I just found some popcorn in my mouth from a couple of days ago.

I was doin my business in the bathroom and I hadn’t been in there long and the light turned off (it is on an automatic timer)…I waive my hand and feet under the door to try and make it turn on and it didn’t work.  So as I was trying to open the door as fast I could, I tripped over my skirt (that was around my ankles) and smashed my face into the door handle with one arm dangling out of the stall. ..luckily the light turned back on.  My face wasn’t so lucky….it has a bright red mark that goes from my chin, across my lips and onto my cheek…it is in the exact shape of the door handle….I hope no one makes the connection!

What do you call a bikini model that finds religion?

A chickmonk.

The Oatmeal is hilarious.  Check out these two links.  Laugh.  

http://theoatmeal.com/blog/bus
especially scroll down to the part about “The Viking”

http://theoatmeal.com/comics

for a plethora of hilarious comics

Another love message left for my lucky coworker on Facebook.